To Good
and God
by E.U. Madhavan
Prasanthi Nilayam, India
First published: Sai Niketan 1998
Web Posted: July 28, 1999
I lost my parents when I was a child leaving me alone with no brothers and sisters, to the
care of my maternal uncle, who was a scientist, industrialist and rationalist too.
When I grew up I developed an uncompromising attitude towards the cruel destiny which deprived me
the parental care and love.
Living with my uncle, I adopted his views and I almost became an agnostic. I considered God as a
non-entity. Temples and purohits were to exploit people in the name of God and religion, rituals
were waste of time. I did not believe in law of karma. I believed one should fight against fate to
achieve his means. I was restless and perturbed and was in search of something, which would satisfy
me. I entered politics that did not give me what I wanted.
After my College, I joined Tatas in 1936 as a Research Chemist in a good remuneration. Meanwhile, I
got a windfall also from my mother’s side. A good job, plenty of money and all vices with it and
lot of friends around me just like frogs during rainy days in a pond. My motto was to enjoy life.
Drinking, smoking, going to night clubs of western dances were my rituals. Going to races was my
past time. Hunting of wild animals in the company of the rich was my hobby. I was in a wrong track,
little knowing that I may get derailed at any moment and bring about a tragic end or wreck my life.
So my relatives thought that I may change my lifestyle if I got married. I married. My wife was
from an orthodox family of a village having their own temple in the compound of their family deity
to worship.
I thought I will change her to a modern lady to suit my lifestyle, instead she started changing my
lifestyle by her prayer, sathyagraha and hunger strike.
She made a pooja room in the house and started regular prayer, puja and worship on which we had a
difference of oppinion. I had an aversion for puja and prayer. But I had to yield to her ways
because except this, she loved me so dearly and prepared for any sacrifice for me, which were
denied to me for all those years. I now realised that there was someone to love me for which I was
prepared to pay any price. Hence I stopped interfering in her way of doing things.
Early in 1965 my wife attended a satsang at Okha, five miles from Mithapur, where we stayed,
conducted by Dr. Ghadia who is now in London doing Sai activities. She came from there with a
photograph of Sri Sathya Sai Baba of an abhaya hasta pose [ed: the divine hand raised,
indicating a blessing]. She installed it in her puja room and started worshipping. This enraged me
beyond limits and I chided her for worshipping the photo of a person whom she has never seen or
heard. For all my torrential outpouring for about half and hour, she did not utter a word, instead
she brought me a cup of cold cream coffee to drink. I could not help but laugh at her for this
unperturbed behagviour. I asked her calmly why she should waste such a lot of time praying in the
puja room instead of using the time for some useful household work. She said, "I am praying to God
to transform you as a good husband free from all vices and there is no better work than that for a
true wife."
A couple days later, one evening my wife after her evening prayer went out for shopping, leaving a
note on the dining table with tea in the flask. I thought it is the opportunity for a drink. I took
a peg of whisky and then wanted to light a cigarette. Finding no matches anywhere there, I put the
cigarette to my lips and brought it near the lamp in front of Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s photo and
heaved a puff. Something very mysterious happened; a funny sensation and a sweet fragrance went
through my entire system, a type of which I never had in my life. My hairs stood up and my body
trembled from head to foot; the cigarette fell from my hand and the effect of the whisky completely
drained off. My body had a spray of ash. It was all a mystic surprise. After an hour, my wife came.
I went off to our staff club and met a friend of mine, Mr. Antia who was a Sai devotee, and
narrated the incident to him. He congratulated me and told me it was Thursday, the bhajan time at
Prasanthi Nilayam, the fragrance had been the smell of the agarbhati’s (incense) being burnt
there and the spray of ash had been vibhutti. All what he said I did not believe in. When
coming, he had given me a book, Sathyam-Shivam-Sundaram, by professor Kasturi. Reaching home
I left the book somewhere without even opening it.
From that day onwards I had an aversion towards drinking and smoking. I thought that Sai Baba may
be a black magician. I tried to challenge it, but every time I wanted to drink or smoke , a strong
resistance was surging in my mind. I then thought of my wife’s words previously. But I did still
not accept my defeat, nor did I consider it as Sai Baba’s divine grace. Even before this incident I
stopped going to races and night clubs because of her non cooperation; and probably it may also
been due to her prayers.
Days rolled on. Once the Maharaja of Nepal and his retinue were the Tata company’s guest, at Tata
Chemicals in Mithapur where I was working. The General Manager asked me to take the guests for a
hunting-expedition to the forest nearby. I got the necessary Government permission to do so. We all
went in four jeeps with four trained elephants (tuskers). We bagged twelve deer, two black bucks,
one wild boar and some rabbits and partridges. While hunting the animals our jeep ditched in a pit,
and I got some injuries on the left side of my face below the eye on my shoulder. We returned late
at night. It was a real game of fun and pleasure. We handed over the booty to the kitchen at the
Guest House where we were staying at, for proper use.
When I came home I was greeted by my wife with scorn and a sermon. My wife said, "What a demonic
pleasure you are deriving by killing these poor innocent creatures, just for your own fun, pleasure
and for the taste of their flesh! How are you going to repay these sins? How will you feel if one
of our children was killed by somebody?" The words really opened my eyes. I realized my folly. I
really repented. She further added, "I will starve from today and die in this house in your
presence if you do not throw away this rifle in the sea!"
She literally started the hunger strike. I was very hesitant to part with the costly weapon. Some
of our close friends came forward for a compromise. I was forced to surrender the weapon to the
Collector as there was nobody to buy it. This averted a great calamity in the house. The storm
calmed, the atmosphere cleared and sunshine came back to our normal life. All these incidents which
I am narrating, happened one after the another in quick succession within six months of installing
Sai Baba’s photo in my wife’s puja room and since her beginning of worshipping it.
Though most of my vices were ebbed out, I still had the ego not to submit and give credit to Sai
Baba for his mystic transformation in me.
Days passed and two months later we had gone to Balachady to witness the graduation parade of our
youngest son from the Sainik School. There my wife was exposed to the sun for some time. When we
returned in the evening, she had high fever and started vomiting. I first thought it may have been
a sun stroke. She was admitted to the Tata Hospital in Mithapur. Her condition became worse and she
developed pneumonia with many other complications. Dr. Chitle at the hospital pronounced her
condition as very critical and added that her survival depended on God’s Grace only, and he asked
me not to leave her bedside.
This was during the Indo-Pakistan war. The hospital was fully camouflaged and protected by sand
bags. I could not get any outside help because of the ARP restrictions. I was confined to my wife’s
bedside. Just then I heard a voice telling me, "She is my bhakta. I will take care if her.
You need not worry."
I opened my eyes to find out the person. I did not find anybody. So I thought it may be my delusion
as I was in a daze at that time. But strange events started taking place from that moment. Dr.
Chitle again came to me, this time with a medical bulletin: "An injection has come out on the
American market, giving wonderful relief and cure for the type of sickness your wife is suffering
from. This has not yet come in the Indian markets. But a Parsee doctor has come from America and is
staying in Bombay. This bulleting has the write-up on the medicine and his address. If you can get
at least six vials of this injection within 24 hours from now, we may try it on her."
I wondered how this could be done; a humanly impossible task. The turn of events started. At 7 p.m.
a friend of Dr. Kurup, Director of Indigenious Medicine at Ahmedabad, came to see my wife in the
hospital, to whom I had written about a week back. I narrated to him what Dr. Chitle conveyed to
me. He assured me that he would manage.
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